There was something especially cool about being friends with them. "I don't want you hanging around with someone that much older than you.""Mom." I'm sure I rolled my eyes. ""So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him."This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. We had gotten in the habit of him driving me home, and my suddenly wanting to make different arrangements seemed to inconvenience everyone.
We were still at an age where our parents insisted on treating us like children. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him.
In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals.
When they weren't doing BMX and skateboard tricks in front of the post office, they were spending what money they had at the nearby arcade, or spinning on stools and shooting straw wrappers in their favorite burger joint, just across the street. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew.
My best friend was 14 when she fell in love with a 21 year old. My friend's older boyfriend was close with a guy I'll call T. My mother, spying him from the front window, asked me how old he was."I don't know," I said. After awhile, my friend and her boyfriend disappeared, leaving T. With real life, however, and memory especially, it is harder to keep things so neat and organized. In the first, I snuck out of the house with a guy friend who lived down the street. My friend came back, we went home and I slid back into my bed. The second incident I remember happened when he was giving me a ride home.
Rarely did our conversations ever evolve beyond the purely superficial, and when they did, her thoughts would typically wander off in almost every conceivable direction. I'm indifferent towards the whole thing, I'm on the fence to be honest, not sure if I could do it or not. Judging from what my other boys have told me is that she's always been fond of older men. But I'm with you on the maturity and mental/knowledge aspect of it. I'm in the working world, and she'd be barely out of high school.
One of my boys is 26, and he's seeing a 19 year old..looks mature enough but I'm not sure. As long as she doesn't still act like a twitty little teenager, she's old enough to date a guy in his mid-20s. Not because of the age difference itself, but because I doubt I could find a deep connection at age 26 with a 19 year old woman from a mental/knowledge, or maturity standpoint. My dad is 81 and my mom is 66 and people don't blink an eye. Judging from what my other boys have told me is that she's always been fond of older men. But I'm with you on the maturity and mental/knowledge aspect of it. I'm in the working world, and she'd be barely out of high school.
The girl has never been in a relationship so she has no dating experience, and this 30 year old guy was in a relationship when he met her (he was basically cheating on his girlfriend and messing with the 18 year old) I have told her that he might cheat on you, since he cheated on his ex.
She tells me that she has a soul connection with this guy.
Unless both the 18 year old and 16 year old are students dating while both are in high school, their dating will be considered very socially unacceptable and suspect.