SANTA CRUZ, CA—Carefully inspecting the rows in hopes of deciphering the right configuration among thousands, local woman Mary Molatino was reportedly rearranging the condiments in her refrigerator door Friday like she was working on a puzzle in an ancient tomb.
PHILADELPHIA—Confirming their findings were consistent across all observed locations and at all times of day, a report released Thursday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that 15 percent of cars in mall parking lots are occupied by family members who stormed out to the vehicles following a heated argument.
LAYTON, UT—Certain it was all that was holding her back from finding the man of her dreams, area mom Janet Kessler told reporters Thursday that she was convinced her 30-year-old daughter Meredith would be married by now if she just brushed her hair more.
ELMHURST, IL—Barely able to contain his enthusiasm for whatever they would be talking about later on, area man Marc Kahan was reportedly excited to hear that his girlfriend has been doing a lot of thinking, saying Thursday that she must have come up with a really great idea.
Yesterday my friend asked me if I know how to talk dirty.
They are powerful and seductive in the bedroom and many of us use them for expression and effect.
what you want to do to her until she’s hot and sweaty and ready to claw your clothes off?
Well, if I know most men, you’ve probably kept those thoughts and words to yourself.
When you use Omegle, we pick someone else at random and let you talk one-on-one.
Being sweet and polite by nature, and expressing my dirty side in bed and blurting out sexy rude things is a lot of fun and gives a spice to my sex life. Well, you stupid fucker, I won’t let you fuck my ass…
Dirty talk is the opportunity to really push back all the boundaries and stops.
MONTAUK, NY—Badly shaken by what he had just witnessed, local boy Peter Danielson, 12, expressed shock Monday after a brief glimpse of his father’s toenails offered a terrifying vision of his future.
PEORIA, IL—Wildly speculating about the tantalizing pleasures awaiting just out of reach, sleepover guests at the Rudder household reportedly could only wonder Friday what mysterious delights lie tucked inside the off-limits upstairs room.
TOLEDO, OH—The end looming closer and closer with each additional meal, the period of time in which local parents Mark and Yasmin Miller could be proud of how much their child can eat was quickly dwindling, sources confirmed Tuesday.