This time, I want to apply some of the same principles we've been thinking about to a relationship that moves beyond the "early stages" and gets serious.
The essential line to walk here is to get to know one another better so that you can make a responsible and informed decision about marriage, but without married in the process and without violating 1 Thessalonians 4's admonition not to defraud and mistreat one another.
Before continuing with this article, please review the preamble included at the beginning of this series, "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." * * * PART 5: Navigating the Early Stages of a Relationship » My last article, "Biblical Dating: Navigating the Early Stages of a Relationship," sought to apply some of the principles we've discussed in this series to the early stages of a dating relationship.
We talked about how to establish intentions for the early stages, appropriate topics of conversation, types of dates and level of emotional investment.
“He told me I was ‘breaking his budget’ because we were going out on dates.
Although he made a good salary, I wondered where all his money was going,” says Miller, 26, the owner of a trampoline business in Washington, DC.
More than 40% of couples surveyed by Country Financial recently said they didn’t discuss how they’d manage their money together ahead of tying the knot.
As a society, we’re not especially conditioned to speak intimately about our finances.
Plus, if you’re not particularly proud of your financial state, a no-holds-barred discussion may stir up anxiety, embarrassment and fear of rejection.
Here’s how to calmly—and, dare I say, enter this critical conversation into the record in the early stages of your relationship: Set a Date My now-husband and I had a money powwow about two years into dating.
Don’t get me wrong: By then, we’d fully observed each other’s spending behaviors and discussed goals (thankfully, with no red flags). With plans to move in together and cosign a lease just a few months down the road, we figured this was a natural and important time to get into the nitty-gritty.
Let's look at how this stage might play out by considering some of the same issues we looked at for the early stage.
Clarity and intentions should be established when things move from "testing the waters" to "yeah, the water's fine." Don't assume that because you agreed to start dating or courting (presumably with the intention to determine whether marriage was the right thing) you (or your partner) will "just know" when things begin to progress. Maybe, but being deliberate and clear about where the relationship is need not suck all the fun, spontaneity and feeling out of the whole affair.
And in order to take a trip to California, he had to scrimp and save for a full year.